Twenty-High-Five

**Disclaimer: This should have been posted nearly a month ago when, you know, my birthday actually happened. Pardon the delay**

It's funny, I just turned yet another year older and I really don't feel any different. Actually, that's not true. I feel bloated and hungover but that's a whole different kettle of sweaty, red-faced fish. This Labor day weekend I celebrated my 25th birthday! Or, as I've been saying, I gave life a twenty(-high)-five. I must say, the stars really kind of aligned to give way to a rather perfect time. The fact that my birthday fell on a Friday before a 3-day weekend was pretty boss already. But on top of that, I hopped in my car that morning and my commute to work suddenly shot down from nearly 2 hours to 40 minutes which basically made me want to pour a glass of cold water over my face and do the Charleston across the 110 (I didn't, though because the Charleston is totally over). Then I get to work and I got a flurry of lovely little Birthday greetings. Most of which were a terse "Happy Birthday" but all that activity simulated the feeling of being popular so I was down like Chinatown. Since I had arranged a half day, I was able to tear outta there at noon and head on home! Me and David decided to spend the day by going to Huntington Gardens in Pasadena. Holy smokes, that place is CARRAZZZZYYY. That succulent garden looked like some gloriously desaturated Seussian dreamworld! Thank god I was able to keep it totally real in my t shirt with a hotel logo and my shorts and long socks and a Nikon camera, in no way resembling a pathetic tourist of course. That place just had EVERYTHING: succulents, lilly ponds, rose gardens, Japanese gardens, Chinese gardens you name it! The only hitch was that this joint closes at 5pm on weekdays. Fucking 5pm?? I'm sure the clientele skews a bit on the geriatric side of the spectrum but come ON! Some people, like, work during the day. But as abbreviated as our trip may have been, it was still pretty magical (albeit hot...it was seriously fucking hot). We also got balls of rice krispies treats with rainbow sprinkles in them which were rather heavenly.

Then by the time we got home all the pollen and vitamin D got the better of me so I collapsed into a 45 minute nap. Well, 45 minutes by way of 2 hours. When I woke up mr. Osenbach put the finishing touches on my cake! Holy Fuck that thing was a work of art. Being the 87 year old woman I am, I love Fig Newtons...SO, I was presented with a brown sugar brown butter fig newton CAKE with bourbon butter cream frosting. It was like a pile of decadence, dipped in happy, fortified with yes and baked in OMFG. So once that was boxed up, we were off to the restaurant for the more formal dinner setting with only my CLOSEST friends. That exclusive gauntlet of dignitaries and luminaries that I call my besties. We went to Maximiliano, which is a bomb-ass Italian joint in my new hood. It was a blast! Although we were sat at the "communal table" int he middle which was this L-shaped banquet table number. This proved to be a smidge awkward because I was at the center but I was situated in between the two halves of the table so I felt like I was entertaining questions at a press release. Dinner was fabulous, per usual, and then it was off to Verdugo Bar for some more unruly fun.

I was almost 40 minutes late to my own birthday party which was a total statement and not at all tacky/rude on my part. There was a good turn out though! I got to shoot the shit with all sorts of people and get drunker and drunker and drunker as the night went on. Birthday parties are always kind of weird because even though they're obviously totally fun, I get so jacked up on adrenaline at the notion that 5+ people are stoked that I was born and then I drench that sensation in alcohol so I turn into a jittery mess come midnight! And of course it's a meeting of different circles of friends so I have to make the rounds and ensure every party is enjoying themselves and not regretting they came. I've also noticed that whatever notion of time I may have completely gets thrown out the window on Birthdays. Realistically I was at the bar for a good 3 hours but if you had said "dude, you showed up for 40 minutes and then peaced it" I would have totally believed you. So I got to see lots of lovely people and have a real bitchin time. The taco truck we stopped by on the way home was I'm sure delicious but my bowels the next day were, ummm, not.

Now, if you thought the weekend excitement was over for me then you are just sorely mistaken. The rest of the weekend was dedicated to FYF! So first off I gotta say: I DO NOT LIKE MUSIC FESTIVALS. The music is fine of course but it's as if every thing I hate is thrown into one bubbling stew of Brett-Bummer. Crowds? Hate 'em. Heat? Hate it. White chicks in headbands and moccasins? Hate 'em. Etc. I mostly ended up going because everyone else seemed to be going and I just pretended it was a special birthday festival for me :) The whole thing turned out to be pretty alright though. I think my favorite part was the notion that I could hop on the train and be there in 10 minutes.The only thing that seriously chapped my ass was that the will-call line was an hour long. I could hear the faint jangly murmurs of the Pains of Being Pure at Heart echoing from the across the street as I stood in a 3 mile line overhearing rich white kids in their 20s pour over Burning Man this year. But once I was in it was pretty swell. And after last year's expired ID-no drinking fiasco, I was very glad to be able to enjoy my $8 Bud Light.

Aaaaaanyway, so my recent birthday weekend ultimately went off without a hitch! And now I embark on a new year of being alive. Let's hope this one continues to be something that doesn't suck!